Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
