YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
