I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
