Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
