Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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