I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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