Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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