I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
did i walk over a car last night?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
