I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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