im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
