Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize