We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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