so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
