haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize