you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
it's like iHOP with fire
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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