U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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