Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
