Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
