the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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