It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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