but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
