Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
