how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
