Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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