wanna go halves on a baby?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Hello my rib-scented angel!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
