I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
pray to the hookup gods
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
