may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
