Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
