This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
