Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
