hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
