4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
