Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Of course I have a pirate flag
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
