There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
