You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
