***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
