Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
