That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
