i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
