Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you win again, gameday.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
