What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
