last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize