I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
