Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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