Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
