its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I wish I only lived at night.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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