you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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