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Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
