I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
mondays should just be called national damage control day
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
