Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize