The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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