His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
