He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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