I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
