Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
