I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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