I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize