If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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