If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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