After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
