do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
