Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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