I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
