I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
