I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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