my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
