My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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