Your dad touched me again.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
