is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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