Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize