don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
