If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
